It is His kindness…

Some have asked if I have gone off the grid…..yes….I did.  🙂

And now I’m back.

There are seasons where people tell you that you are so brave…….and then there are times where you get to BE BRAVE! I think bravery requires a certain amount of danger or risk to really be considered bravery.

When I came home from Cambodia, I literally walked into a BRAND NEW SEASON!

New city, new roommate, no more school of ministry, no more family I was living with, no job, new relationship with Mr Amazing. ALL NEW!

Standing two months into this NEW almost completely blank season, i realize that what I am experiencing is actually what I have been praying for for a very long time.  When I said YES to God….NO MORE PLAN B…..i never realized the level of trust that would require on my part.  I haven’t felt brave AT ALL.  Like NOT AT ALL!

I have felt like I was in a swirling storm with everything coming at me at once and nowhere to hide and no way to comfort myself.

The storm is where Jesus so confidently decided to take a nap….and so confidently asked Peter to come out on the water in….Like walk out of the boat in the middle of the storm just because Jesus asks you to….because Jesus knew the storm was the precise scenario for Peter to encounter Him…and to forever change Peter’s life.

What do you do when the season is brand new? And nothing is familiar? And nothing about your scenario matches the prophetic words over you life?  Somehow my spirit knew that the only solution was just to hang with Jesus.

 He is the Way….Like He doesn’t just KNOW the way…He IS the Way.   When you feel really lost….hang out with the One who knows the way.

So that’s mostly what I have been doing for two months.  Sounds glorious….yes! It has been. But also it’s been one of the most challenging times of my whole life.

Nearly everything I have ever heard from God has been challenged….”Did He really mean that?” Tale as old as Adam and Eve.  hmm…

When I was in Cambodia I realized I was about to go home and I had not dreamed or planned anything for the next season of my life.  Like not one single thing….ok…i did plan to go on a first date (which was MAGICAL)! But apart from that….NOTHING!! It was as if I couldn’t see anything past Cambodia.  My whole vision and life and choices up to that point all pointed to Asia.  So two days before coming home, I had the thought…”hmm….maybe I should plan or dream something.  But I don’t even know where to start!”  So I figured if Jesus had so precisely orchestrated my world up to this point, He probably had a good plan for what was next.  That night I went to a prayer meeting that was supposed to be 30 people that ended up being just four of us.  So they prayed for me…..and finally there was some clue about this BRAND NEW SEASON!

“There is a reason this season is brand new.  The Lord has been very specific in making it brand new.  He had to.  God is preparing you for the greatest amount of favor you have ever walked in or imagined you would walk in. There is a table full of food that is for you to feast on.  The Lord is taking you from the mindset that the favor on your life will run out into a new way of living where you know your confidence is in God and a knowing that the favor on your life will never run out.”

So I walked into a BRAND NEW SEASON with THAT BIG WORD……aaaaaand where everything was unfamiliar and it appeared from the “outside” that everything had gone wrong….that I had “nothing”…..that I had perhaps failed….that I had “missed” the voice of God.  The road to the Promise can sometimes look nothing like what has been promised.

God told me as I was boarding the plane to America that I was going home, but I was still on the mission field.  God also told me that going to Asia was the end of a season and He was literally RESETTING me! What does that even mean?!

I am being RESET to live like a queen….body, soul and spirit.  Who doesn’t live from a poverty mindset.  Who rules and reigns in all areas of her life. Who creates her world with her words. Who walks in favor knowing her confidence in God.

So ALL OF THAT has daily been challenged…..like challenged so much I thought at one point I might go a little crazy!!  So challenged that all i wanted to do was hide until it was all over!

  But is something true because God said it? Or because I see it happening? God often shows us the end and then begins the process to what He has promised.

So I have begun this new chapter of my life…..and it is already so rich and full of God’s fingerprints.  I still have ALOT of unanswered questions and areas of my world…….but I know Him.  And that’s really all that matters to me.  I am learning to live like a queen.  He is revealing ALOT about my little world that has kept me from His promises.  And in His loving kindness, He is teaching me His ways.  And His ways are so extravagant.   It is His goodness heaped upon me that causes my heart to repent….and actually long for Him to teach me a higher Truth and Way to live.

So no more hiding.  Go be brave.

#bng

One comment

  1. PatriceG · September 18, 2014

    I love you and I love your testimony of Father’s love, favor, and leading in your life! Thank you for the RESET update. Hugs!! 😃

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